Talking stalking

I always assumed stalkers were just a pain in the ass. I know mine is. It’s only to be expected when a delusional fantasist with a bullying personality and a drama- queen sense of his own victimhood drinks too much and smokes his way to a paranoid rage – several times a week.

I hadn’t realised it was also a criminal offence. The Crown Prosecution Service document on stalking and harassment sums it up nicely. Police sites routinely have “what to do if you’re being stalked” sections and the National Policing Improvement Agency has a code of best practice that makes for reassuring reading.

I’ve got several years of emails and voicemails (yes my stalker isn’t the sharpest tool in the box when it comes to not incriminating himself). I know I ought to report it (he’s already been dealt with by the police for stalking my sister and elderly parents), but despite the urgings of of individual constabularies, the Digital Trust and the National Stalking Helpline, I find it difficult to start taking action.

I wonder what experiences other have had with talking to the police about cases like this?

Infinite monkeys with typewriters clogging Facebook feeds

Imagine … there was a “Who/What/Where quiz” on bloody bollockingbraindead BuzzFeed that posed sensible questions with realistic options for answers? One that you could get beyond the first question without screaming “FFS – what sort of simian simpleton would answer with any of these stupid responses to such a dumbass question?”

Even if there was, I still wouldn’t care what sort of fetid parasites my FaceBook friends are apparently proud of being.